1990年秋天,整整30年前,我作为一名大一新生来到罗格斯大学. 在进入校园之前,我对大学的大部分了解都是通过观察得来的 不同的世界.
在秋季学期开始前几周,我收到了我的住房和室友分配. 这封欢迎信分享了有关迎新周末的信息,并鼓励新生在到达校园之前给他们的室友打电话,互相了解. Yes, before email, Facebook, 和 Instagram, we 被称为 通过家里的电话,用一根线连接在墙上. I remember my first conversation with my roommate. She sensed that I was different. She said she could hear it in my voice – the way I talked. “你是黑人吗??她问. “You’re the first Black person I know.
I was one of two Black people on my residence hall floor that year. That was nothing new to me. I grew up in a predominantly White neighborhood. 对我来说,日日夜夜住在一个以白色为主的空间里是什么新鲜事. 对我来说,新鲜的是几乎每天都要解释我的发型习惯. 对我来说新鲜的是,当我每天晚上把一条缎面围巾戴在头上时,旁观者的目光. The questions were draining, not because curiosity is inherently invasive, but because the inquisitiveness often carried racial judgment.
I was ten when I learned that race matters. I was in the fifth grade. 网易彩票app正准备读一篇网易彩票app地下铁路的文章. 我的老师问我能不能站起来给同学们讲讲地下铁路,因为, 用他的话来说, “毕竟, those are your kind of people.” I didn’t know what that meant, 但从他的语气和责备的微笑中,我知道他对我没有什么好感 我喜欢的人. 我带着羞愧和尴尬默默地站着,直到他允许我坐下. 这是我在许多课堂经历中第一次感到自己在种族歧视的目光下赤身裸体.
In some ways, college was different. 我有选择. The course catalog was as thick as the 黄页 (staying on my phone theme). 作为一名英语专业的学生,我可以从文学课程的菜单中进行选择. Goodbye Herman Melville, Arthur Miller, 和 Charles Dickens. Hello Nella Larsen, Claude McKay, 和 Langston Hughes. 在大学里,我第一次被介绍读到一本由黑人作家写的书. 当我阅读哈莱姆文艺复兴时期作家的作品时,字里行间充满了活力. I had no relationship to these authors, but they tapped a common, 祖先的记忆,给了我一种语言来表达我骨子里知道的东西. 大学,或者至少是我和Cheryl Wall教授的课,是不同的. I saw my full humanity in the pages I read.
也是在大学期间,我开始意识到网易彩票app的刑事司法系统出了问题. It was my junior year. 一天下午,当我坐在宿舍里时,我被一声威严的敲门声吓了一跳. 我给两个自称联邦探员的人开了门. 他们给我看了他们的徽章,并解释说他们正在调查一起奖学金欺诈案,他们认为我可能有一些与此案有关的信息. 他们把一张警察画像放在我面前,问我知不知道照片上的人是谁. 我没有,但他们的问题很快从“你知道这是谁吗??到“这不是你吗??” They were insistent 和 continued to point out the resemblance. Nothing made sense in that moment. 我不知道我是否曾将这种经历描述为种族化. I don’t know that it was. The sketch was racially ambiguous at best. 我所知道的是,在我生命中的这个时候,大多数事情都带有种族意义.
就在同一年,一名年轻的非洲裔美国人在离我的大学校园几英里的地方被一名警察从背后开枪打死. 那一周,网易彩票app游行抗议,阻断了新不伦瑞克省18号公路的交通. I didn’t really know why I was marching or if it mattered. 我现在知道的是,我在寻找一个出口和一个社区来帮助理解那些看起来不对的事情. I didn’t find answers then, but I certainly had questions.
在我大学毕业几年后,同样的问题又出现了. I was living 和 working just outside of New York City. 网易彩票下载报道了警方射杀阿马杜·迪亚洛(Amadou Diallo)的事件,他是一名居住在布朗克斯的几内亚移民. He was the victim of mistaken identity, 手无寸铁的, 四名警察在试图进入他的公寓时向他开了41枪. 二十多年过去了,这个数字对我来说仍然无法计算.
当我反思过去的几个月,坐在这一刻, I am flooded by so many memories. I hold those memories in my body. Sometimes they make me strong. Sometimes they make me angry. Sometimes they make me cower under the fear of the racial gaze. Often they make me hyper attuned to my environment. But always 和 in all ways, 我的记忆激励我去探讨种族主义是如何在网易彩票app的生活中表现出来的,以及网易彩票app与机构和彼此之间的关系.
三十年后, 我的记忆似乎与网易彩票app有色人种学生的经历并不遥远. 网易彩票app的学生想要的课程不仅仅是把他们定位为历史的对象. 我也是. They want a campus environment free of racial bias 和 harm. 我也是. 他们想要的是能够促进相互交流和理解的宿舍体验, 不是种族窥阴癖. 我也是. 他们需要教员, 工作人员, 还有那些愿意质疑和改变那些继续将他们视为“不同”的系统,并挑战计算他们差异的标准的管理人员. 我也是.
I don’t want to speak for our students. They do a fine job on their own. In June, we heard them speak. Now, it’s September, 和 I’m asked, “What are we going to do? We have to do something.” I agree with that sentiment now just as I did thirty years ago. This is not new to me.
I am hopeful this year, but not because I have any evidence to suggest that change – deep, 持续的, scalable change – is possible. I am hopeful because we serve a God who does the impossible. 我充满希望,因为在网易彩票app的破碎和局限中,网易彩票app有机会进入基督的恩典和怜悯充满的救赎之地. 我充满希望,因为网易彩票app有一切网易彩票app需要在网易彩票app的处置,以解决混乱, 困难, 和 crucial work of reconciliation 和 repair. 现在,网易彩票app必须 do 的工作.
To help facilitate our work together this year, 网易彩票app的季度通讯将遵循一个简单的模式,包括一个开场白, followed by an invitation to 读、反映 和 回应. 网易彩票app的工作不能停留在智力或同情的领域, it must also express itself in practice. 因此, 每期都将为网易彩票app提供增长知识(头脑)的资源。, explore our personal 和 faith connections to this work (heart), 和 deepen our efforts (h和s).
我爱你,并敦促你在网易彩票app投入的时候,全身心投入. I also urge you to let me know (in kind, gentle ways) when I’m not listening well or when I’m falling short. I am still learning, too. 网易彩票app能够而且必须继续做这项工作,为网易彩票app的学生和彼此服务. As we journey together, 我祈祷网易彩票app将愉快地拥抱和解的承诺和修复的希望, 网易彩票app将怀着期望去做,上帝能够也将会比网易彩票app想象的做得更多.
桑迪梅奥
Vice Provost for Inclusive Excellence